Resolving Church and Organizational Leadership Disputes
At The Missing Peace we help churches and christian organizations be more effective in their ministry by addressing the conflicts that distract them from their core ministry work. We also help these organizations grow stronger as they address these issues rather than weaker as they are drained by them.
At The Missing Peace we help church and organizational leaders resolve disputes through a biblically based process of Christian Conciliation. Our conciliators can work with all parties in a conflict, facilitating productive conversations that lead to mutually agreeable, God honoring resolutions. Or, when not every party is ready to participate, we can coach one side through a Godly process for responding to the tension.
The Same Principles, A Different Process
Organizational and leadership disputes are resolved using the same biblical principles we use in all conflicts. However, the setting is different from a marriage or family concern, and the process is often shorter and more focused. In many cases, the relationships involved are not as deep as those in a marriage and the investment that participants are willing to make may be less as well. Yet, the stakes remain high: leaders serve together, make decisions together and influence the health of the people they lead.
We usually work through leadership and organizational disputes over weeks rather than months. The process typically includes a small number of individual preparation meetings. Meetings with each involved leader are typically 90 minutes, with assigned reading and journaling assignments to completed before each meeting.
Finally we proceed to a mediation process that typically lasts from 1/2 day to 3 days or more depending on the number and complexity of the issues involved. We typically assign 1 or 3 mediators to a case.
Pursuing God Honoring Solutions
Unlike secular mediations we are pursuing more than a mediated agreement. In many secular cases, mediation defines how the relationship ends. We seek to create an environment where the relationship may finally achieve it’s best. We seek to help christian organizations and their leaders to resolve their issues in a way that reflects well on the christian walk, values relationships and people as God does and views genuinely restored relationships as the most effective resource for doing ministry.
Conflict often tempts us to defend ourselves, protect our reputation, prove our point or focus almost entirely on what the other person did wrong. A biblical approach calls us to something better. We help leaders ask:
How can I respond in a way that honors God?
What part of this conflict belongs to me?
What concerns need to be addressed clearly and lovingly?
What would it look like to serve others while still speaking truthfully?
What path gives the best opportunity for repentance, forgiveness and reconciliation?
This does not mean ignoring serious issues and it is not about managing conflict. We value treating conflict resolution as a matter of stewardship with the goal of serving and honoring God in the process.
Taking Responsibility for Our Part
One of the most important parts of conciliation is helping each person consider their own contribution to the conflict. We often encourage people this way: “you are 100% responsible for your 2% of the problem.”
That kind of responsibility does not excuse anyone else’s conduct. When leaders are willing to own their part, the conversation becomes more honest, productive and hopeful.
Addressing the Heart Before the Behavior
At The Missing Peace we believe conflict is never only about surface issues. Words and actions matter, but they often flow from deeper desires, fears, expectations and beliefs.
James 4:1 (CSB) - ¹ What is the source of wars and fights among you? Don't they come from your passions that wage war within you?
Preparing for Productive Conversations
Leadership disputes often include hurtful words, unclear roles, limited resources, broken trust, leadership decisions, governance questions, communication breakdowns or disagreements about direction. We help each participant prepare to express concerns in a way that is clear, honest and constructive.
What the Process Usually Looks Like
Every situation is different, but a leadership or organizational conciliation process often includes the following steps:
1. Initial assessment
We begin by learning about the nature of the dispute, who is involved, what issues are being raised and what kind of process may be appropriate. With this we can give parties a realistic picture of what to expect.
2. Individual preparation
Each involved leader usually participates in a small number of individual sessions. These meetings help participants examine their own contribution, clarify their concerns and prepare for a constructive joint conversation. These session will have a bigger impact on the final outcome than our facilitation in joint meetings.
3. Reading and journaling assignments
Before each preparation meeting, leaders will usually be given reading and journaling work. These assignments help them think carefully, pray honestly and come ready to engage the next conversation well.
4. Heart and behavior reflection
The preparation process focuses first on the heart and how it may be influencing behavior. Then we work through the specific actions, words and concerns that need to be addressed.
5. Mediation
When the parties have completed the needed preparation, we move into mediation. Organizational mediations often last one to three days, though some can be completed in one day or less depending on the number and severity of the issues.
What Happens in Mediation?
Our mediation process is designed to provide a safe and constructive environment for the parties to express themselves, listen carefully and work toward resolution. A typical mediation includes:
Establishing ground rules
We begin by setting expectations for how the conversation will be conducted so participants can speak truthfully and respectfully.
Opening statements
Each party briefly expresses what they hope to accomplish through the mediation.
Storytelling
The parties review the facts and events they believe are relevant. This helps everyone understand where stories agree, where they differ and what issues need attention.
Identifying the issues
We help the parties sort through what has been shared and agree on the problems that need to be resolved.
Exploring solutions
The parties then begin identifying possible solutions. These may include confession, forgiveness, clarified expectations, improved communication, role definition, organizational commitments or practical next steps.
Working toward agreement
Finally, we help the parties pursue a clear and practical agreement that allows them to move forward faithfully.
The Goal: Reconciliation
Our ultimate goal in every case is reconciliation. In an organizational setting, reconciliation will hopefully mean restoring the relationship to at least what it was before the conflict. In some cases, it may mean rebuilding trust, clarifying expectations or establishing a healthier working relationship than existed before.
Reconciliation does not require pretending the conflict never happened. It requires truth, humility, confession where needed, forgiveness where appropriate and practical commitments for the future.
Leadership conflict can discourage people and distract an organization from its mission. But when handled well, it can also become an opportunity to demonstrate God’s presence, grow stronger and serve others in the process.
If your church, ministry or organization is facing conflict, we would be glad to help you take the next step.